Blog: How to Help a Loved One When Cognitive Changes Arise

By Jen Muskat, Co-Founder of Full Bloom Memory Care

If you’re reading this, chances are you’re trying to help someone you love—someone who’s showing signs of cognitive change and resisting the help they truly need.

You may feel stuck, emotionally drained, and unsure what to do next. I want you to know:you’re not alone. I’ve walked alongside hundreds of families throughout my career in home care and personal life experiences, and I’ve seen just how complex this journey can be.

I also know it can get better.

Over the years, I’ve learned that one of the most pivotal—and challenging—moments in any care journey is this one: helping your loved one begin accepting support. So many families struggle here. It’s emotional, it’s personal, and it doesn’t come with a handbook. But there are tools. And there is hope.

Here are six gentle, practical strategies that have helped countless families reduce resistance and build trust—without conflict or pressure.

1.  Understand What’s Really Going On

Sometimes, it seems like a loved one is in denial. But in many cases, they’re not denying anything—they simply can’t see the changes that are happening. This condition, called anosognosia, is common with cognitive impairment and makes it impossible for someone to recognize their own decline.  

When you realize this isn’t stubbornness or defiance—but a change in brain function—it becomes easier to meet them with empathy rather than frustration.

Try This: Instead of arguing, reframe help as support for their independence. Small shifts in tone and language can make a big difference.

2.  Start Small and Go Slow

It’s tempting to rush in and solve everything. But too much change at once can feel overwhelming. I always tell families: go slow to go far.

Begin with just one area of support—something they’re more likely to accept, like companionship during errands or help with cooking. Build from there.

Try This: Pick a single area they’re open to. Then gradually add more support as comfort and trust grow.

3.  Balance Safety with Independence

You may be worried about safety, while your loved one is focused on independence. These priorities can clash—and create tension. The key is to introduce care in a way that doesn’t feel like control.

At Full Bloom, we train our Memory Care Partners to build trust first. Once a relationship is in place, solutions come more naturally—and feel more collaborative than imposed.

Try This: Hold off on big safety conversations until your loved one has formed a connection with their caregiver. Then work together to make thoughtful changes.

4.  De-Emphasize Money (For Now)

When someone believes they don’t need help, the idea of paying for help can be an extra barrier. Early financial conversations can stir up defensiveness, especially for those used to managing their own affairs.

Try This: If you have the ability, avoid discussing payment details upfront. Focus instead on the relationship and the benefit of the support.

5.  Use Therapeutic Storytelling

When cognitive decline progresses, facts don’t always land the way they used to. That’s why therapeutic storytelling—offering explanations that match your loved one’s current reality—can be so powerful.

For example, rather than saying someone is there to help “because you’re forgetful,” you might say, “This is someone the doctor recommended,” or “She’s here to help with a few fun things today.”

Try This: Frame support in terms your loved one can accept and understand. It’s not deception—it’s compassion.

6.  Focus on Joy and Engagement

Care isn’t just about meeting needs—it’s about creating moments of purpose, peace, and connection. Activities that bring joy—music, gardening, puzzles, even simple routines—can ease transitions and reduce resistance. Our care partners are trained to discover what lights someone up and use that to build a bridge of trust.

Try This: Start with something your loved one enjoys. Let that be the doorway to care, not the tasks they resist.

I’ve seen time and again how these gentle, respectful approaches can transform even the most resistant situations. It’s not magic—but it is powerful when done with love and patience. If you’re facing this moment right now—wondering how to get started, how to help your loved one accept care—I just want to say: you’re doing more right than you think.

Every step you take with empathy and intention matters. I’ve witnessed firsthand how small shifts—when made with heart—can unlock new possibilities for connection, trust, and well-being.